The spring weather always put a smile on my face. The alluring scents of wild flowers and clovers and the prospect of picnics under the trees and thunderstroms. This year, though, it caught me a little off guard when a perfect day came along. A day that normally I would be running and jumping a fool like David when he dances through the streets with people laughing and pointing. A day that I'd be singing praises because winter was being slowly defeated, and a day that I would be counting the minutes before my family members would be home to celebrate the day! But this day, it brought a kinda weird sadness to my heart. I had a strange feeling in my belly like I was nervous. Like i had done something wrong, or i was about to get on a scary roller coaster, or i was scared. I hate those feelings. Usually, I call the person I think about and make sure they're okay (as if I'm some psychic! Ha!), but this time, there wasn't anyone on my mind.
And after a few minutes, I remembered.
The day we got hubby's diagnosis was just like this day.
The weather was beautiful.
The birds sang.
The winter was being defeated.
And I remember thinking how ironic it was, that on a day that I would normally be on a life high, I was as nervous as could be. I was sitting in the car, waiting for him to come out from work, so we could drive down to the oncologist's office to get the results. I was holding back tears, I was praying, i was naive.
I had no idea what was about to hit me.
That was three years ago.
Does it seem short? Or long? I dont know. I go back and forth, I guess. Some days I think off all that we've gone through and it seems like it CAN'T have only been three years ago, but then I say three, and it feels like forever ago.
But the semi-annual CTscans have been clear since then.
And so has our gratification for this life, and all that is in it.
Three years, my love!
I don't know why you were chosen to have this fight in your life, and I don't know why you were chosen to live, when so many do not, but I know that God has great things in store for your life, and I am so thankful that we are here to watch them all come to be.
You are the strongest, most wonderful person I know, and i am so blessed to be your wife and best friend.
I love you something fierce!
Happy 3 years to this new life!