Tuesday, January 17, 2012

A New Focus

I hadn't made a New Year's Resolution this year, but I kept telling myself that if I came up with one before Chinese New Year, it could still count. I hate resolutions, because they usually lead to failure on my part by the nd of summer, but, man-oh-man am I good up until then!

It wasn't until we got to church last Sunday that it really sank in what my resolution should be. And I had known it all along, and told myself (and others, actually) that I was eventually going to make this change, but just hadn't until now.

I'm a yes-sayer. That being said, I don't "yes" my way into things I really have no intrest in, but when it comes to school or friends or the kids or an empty "HELP" line on a sign up sheet, I usually am there donning my SuperMom cape and jumping to the rescue. I've slowly managed to weazel my way out of many things, but there are more to be left behind, those of which will be weaned off starting NOW.

I remember what it was like for me when Emma was so small and the time we sepnt together was uninterrupted and special and magical. I never wanted it to go. I honestly did live "for the moment". I never used the phrase "Not right now - I'm busy" or decided I couldn't stop dishes or a phone call to read a book or play Dora outside for the gazillionth time. It happened again when Evan came along. The age separation was beyond perfect. Emma was off to her first year in school which left me with precious alone time with this new little guy, and I loved it so much that I thought I would never let him grow up.
But he has, and here we are, are the brink of another child - our baby- off to school next year. And I realized that among this age of technology, he's had to deal with the "Not right now, just give me a second!"'s and "I've got to take Emma to gym! I'll be right back!"s, and the dreaded iphones.
There was a day that John & I looked up and realized that ALL FOUR of us were sitting around the living room on iphones.
Yep.
All four.

It was like a punch in the gut. By a big strong muscle man on roid rage.

And it was then that I realized that our whole life, I haven't let the kids watch more than an hour of TV a day (if that!), I don't let Emma on the computer for longer than half an hour, and outdoor play is a given on days of sun and warmth, but these phones had given way to a lifestyle I hated.

So, it's time to finally disconnect from the web and focus on what's important.

My family.
My four little hands that fit just right inside mine as we walk down the sidewalk barefoot.
My hubby's shoulder where God created my head to fit just.right. inside of it.
My laughing little boy through those tiny baby teeth, yet to fall
My beautiful little girl, soon to be a young lady if I blink once more
My life. Passing by. Not waiting for me to hang up, log off, look up.

So we dropped Facebook and G Plus. I had removed almost all my apps about a year ago, when I became OBSESSED with pocket frogs, but there are a few more I could stand to lose. I don't need the temptation of browsing the web when I'm bored instead of playing, listening, watching, praying. I really wasn't on facebook all that much, but when I was, it was full of complaining and anti-this and that and updates on things that really didn't intrest me at all. After all, I keep in touch with everyone I want to keep in touch without facebook, so it wasn't a big deal.

So now, on my new quest to re-find our family in the quiet times, I've politely declined lunch dates, shopping trips, errand running, and some extracurricular activities for the kids. I'm ready to plug back into our family. So if I don't text you right back, it's probably because I left my phone in the car or turned it off for a few hours until nap. If I don't email you back, it might be because I didn't check it on weekends or that evening. We're going primitive! (gasp!)

Wish me luck with my withdrawls! ;)


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2 comments:

  1. I'm proud of you. I too remember when a phone was just a phone, and I longed for an iPhone because of all that it can do. But like any powerful entity, it must be understood and respected. I'll still use my phone for fun and as a toy, but those times will be farther and farther apart. What's important, that's all that matters.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I found you! And you now have a new reader (or two!).

    ReplyDelete

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