Thursday, March 3, 2011

Just when I thought I was smart...

March 19, 2007

There are some people that are just never given that "benefit of the doubt" when it comes to being smart. I'm one of those people. You wouldn't expect that, since I'm part Japanese, but people don't take that into consideration, I guess. Ha!

Anyway, so if you're one of the unfortunate "Jessica Simpsons" of the world, you'll know what I mean when I say that you spend a LOT of your time trying to think of smart people answers to questions (that never come) and smart people facts to rattle off to everyone as a first impression (that usually backfires).

Since my husband started working up at Stanford with all the other rocket and laser engineers and stuff, I've had AMPLE times to fail at looking smart. I mean AMPLE. But, those people are like my big brother. They OOZE intelligence. And they know when they've got more than you. It's like they can smell inferior brains! But out in the everyday world, it seems easier. You can outbrain a normal person, if you could just plan it perfectly...

Well, since living here, and if you've ever been here, you'll know, that it's VERY multicultural. Like, seriously, people from at least a thousand of the countries are represented here. So, I am happy to say, that I have learned a lot of new, how to say "please pull the weeds over there" in spanish, how to translate chinglish, spanglish, and indi-ish into english, and Ive learned that China and Korea? - NOT the same country! Wow. I know.

Well, for my latest dilemma, I will start off letting you know that I had just recently learned that Soul was a city in Korea. I don't know if I spelled it right, but whatever. Anyway, i stored it away in my "smart people facts to pull out later" file in my brain. Well, most of the time, the facts stay there, and die. And never come out, because I never have a chance to bring them up. And if I DO get the chance, it takes me too long to retrieve the info and by the time I blurt it out - everyone's talking about something else, and the smart person fact ends up making me the "just stare at and blink" person....again.

Well, at Wal-mart, an older black man was talking about going back to Louisiana to his mother's funeral. I was really sad for him. Poor guy. He had said he missed home because of all the culture there and soul food. He missed his momma's soul food. "Do you know what soul food is?" he asked *DING DING!!!* Oh my GOSH! Of COURSE I knew!!! My eyes lit up, I stood a little taller and proudly told him that I DID know what soul food was, but I hadn't ever tried it yet but my Korean friend had planned on making it for me sometime soon - She was an EXPERT at cooking Korean food! 

"Huh....oh.....yeah....I meant SOUL food" [Insert large eyeballs and "okay, blink, blink, blink" face here] "It's actually....well, it's cultural food....NOT from Korea...." [Insert sympathetic "Im so sorry that you're such an idiot" face here + head tilt and nodding]

"ooooh! Right! SOUL food! Eh hehe heh...I thought you said Soul food, like Korean friend.....she...calls it soul food sometimes....heheheh" [Insert lying eyes looking left please believe me face here]

[Insert man hauling a$$ out of the checkout line laughing at me and dialing someone on his phone OBVIOUSLY to tell them what a "special" he met at walmart today]

So, then I had to check out with the asian guy (who was probably from korea and knew that no korean person would really refer to their food as "soul food"). He charged me twice for my goldfish crackers, but I didn't say anything in case I offended him. :(

Chalk another one up to smart moments:gone bad. Dangit.

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  1. OMG, I almost p____d my pants!!! Thank you so much for this, it made my day!! OMG I'm still laughing.
    Are you on "Charlie Sheen"?

  2. I haven't seen that show!! Is it funny?! Maybe I should be on it! LOL!
    Yes, many, many strange happenings went on during our life in California...


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